Shirotsuki (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
preciousimpressions) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kaiserparty2017-05-23 10:41 pm
preciousimpressions) wrote in kaiserparty2017-05-23 10:41 pm
If Seeing and Feeling Meant Believing
[The inhabitants of the area surrounding the tree had long since turned in for the night. The shops had all closed and though lamps illuminated the city no one roamed the streets this late save for one man.
Shirotsuki could be found sitting beneath the immense tree with a stack of petals beside him and one resting in his palm. There were images in the light that emanated from the petals. Images of places and people simultaneously intimate and utterly alien to Shirotsuki. There were voices too and if he focused hard enough they became clearer. They were memories— his memories. Or so he wanted to believe.
Ever since he'd encountered the strange phenomenon Shirotsuki felt compelled to return to the tree more often. He wanted to understand just how much of it was real and perhaps recover these missing pieces of himself. All this he chose to do in the dead of night. After all, he hadn't exactly made the cost of using his magic public knowledge. Not even to those closest to him.
And so he returned, night after night to look into the petals. Especially the ones of the girl with the brilliant smile...]
Shirotsuki could be found sitting beneath the immense tree with a stack of petals beside him and one resting in his palm. There were images in the light that emanated from the petals. Images of places and people simultaneously intimate and utterly alien to Shirotsuki. There were voices too and if he focused hard enough they became clearer. They were memories— his memories. Or so he wanted to believe.
Ever since he'd encountered the strange phenomenon Shirotsuki felt compelled to return to the tree more often. He wanted to understand just how much of it was real and perhaps recover these missing pieces of himself. All this he chose to do in the dead of night. After all, he hadn't exactly made the cost of using his magic public knowledge. Not even to those closest to him.
And so he returned, night after night to look into the petals. Especially the ones of the girl with the brilliant smile...]
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Yes, even now I can't really recall much of my childhood.
[He glances over to the image of Yui in the petals with sadness in his eyes.]
Or that precious person...
[He just lets the implication hang there. Shirotsuki can't bring himself to say the words out loud— it feels like his heart would shatter if he does.
Despite his reasoning that Hibiki needed to know about his condition Shirotsuki doesn't feel any better having told her about it. He just feels so incredibly cruel and selfish.
When he speaks again, he can't keep his voice from cracking.]
I'm so sorry, Hibiki.
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...No.
[It's a hushed whisper, barely heard. But she repeats it again, her voice stronger:]
No.
[Her voice wavers, but it's louder, clearer.]
Y-you're not... You can't leave! [And her own voice is cracking, jumping up even higher in pitch in her distress.]
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[Hibiki's reaction is overwhelming for Shirotsuki and yet he feels a strange sense of deja vu. It almost like this isn't the first time he's had this conversation. Did this exact same thing happen with Yui? Is that why she wasn't around anymore? How many other people had he discarded throughout his life? It makes him angry to think of the choices he must have made before.
Shirotsuki shifts forward on his knees and wraps her tiny form in a massive hug.]
...
["Then I won't use magic anymore."
He desperately wants to make that promise... But he knows that it isn't one he can make so easily. At some point, sooner or later, there would be a crisis that only magic could resolve. And if such a crisis involved Hibiki Shirotsuki wouldn't even hesitate, no matter how high the cost.
But even if he would have to someday use his magic to protect her, didn't he have a more immediate responsibility?
Yes, he needed to care for her, not just as a protector but also... as a parent. But did her needs outweigh the needs of a whole world?
It's an extraordinarily difficult question but the truth is Shirotsuki had already decided what his answer was a long time ago...
Back when he showed kindness to a frightened young girl hiding in his shed and then allowed her to stay with him.]
I won't leave you.
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Then... She'd be all alone again.
She won't move for a while, so long as he lets her stay right where she is. But throughout it, a gentle wind seems to swirl around them, not enough to push, but almost as though creating a protective wall around them.]